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| I went to Agape church last week, which was my first sunday back in SLO. I had been going to another church for a while, but i just felt like i wasn't being fed the right kind of food. I really liked how the church was run & that they were biblically based. but i guess i just have a hunger for worship, and expressiveness and amens, and stuff like that :D
So, coming back to SLO was difficult, to say the least. Three of my roomates are no longer living here, one is gone for the quarter and one is gone forever. Another girl from my year also isn't in SLO anymore, so i'm missing a lot of my heart to hearts with my girls. Anyways, I went to church a little early, or .. i guess they started a little late. haha :D and as I sat there, i heard them play "Your Love is Everything" from Jesus Culture and i almost teared up. It felt like home, i was like. they speak my language!! i think God gave me a little gift
It has been good in SLO, and i don't know why i always fear coming back. but i guess when everything is settled, i'm at ease again. I re-arranged my room, and now it is even more beautiful. I went to joe mamma's coffee @ Avila beach today. sat on the 2nd story and did some twabba time, the best. I have a great roomate, we get along so well. I can cook at home. I have a great school schedule. College fellowship was great tonight, really got me asking for more from God.
thanks God. You are good. You are so good.
I've been praying about what happens after college. MAN, i am so hungry to go overseas and do some missions. I have no idea what will come afterwards though. All i know is i love leading worship, interceding, i love to be in His house, and i'm ready for Him to bring more. Actually, I've been thinking about the fatherless & abandoned lately. Every time i hear about abandonment, or children just roaming without a home, i feel this righteous anger rise up in me. A girl shared tonight that she went to S.Africa, and saw two little girls, no more than 4 yrs old, holding hands and walking through the slums together. no parents. she said, these kids don't have birth certificates, people may not even know they exist, but God knows them. He knows each and every one of them, and He loves them. I want to.. take the children who have been left and abandoned, and say, "fine! If you don't want them, I want them! I'll take them, and feed them, and raise them in the house of the Lord. they will be MY children, and i'll bring the to Jesus."
Anyways, from college fellowship, I was inspired to dream big with God again. Pastor James said it right, when he said, you can't wait for others to live life, you have to go on ahead and wait for other people to catch up! He said, "my roof will be my son's floor."( figuratively ) Man, how much would i love to lead worship & intercede in God's house, all the days of my life. To bring His presence to the nations, and worship until nothing else stands in that place.
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me Psalm 138:8
Fullfill Your purpose for me God
-beth
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| Officially I have been in SLO for a little less than 5 days now, and already I can feel the pressures of the upcoming year. It has been good to meet with our core leadership, and see old friends. But i feel like God has put on my heart the importance of not mixing cultures. As in, mixing God's ways with the world's ways. This morning we had a prayer meeting for the incoming freshman because of the recent alcohol related injuries. Since friday there have been 11 hospitalized, and school hasn't even started yet.
Not only has God put on my heart to stay away from obviously worldly things, but also the small things. Things that have influence from other religions, or seemingly small games & activities that I know don't glorify Him. Sometimes it really sucks, because people think you are being a prude. Or being "holier than thou" but how can we be salt & light in this world, when we look so much like it? aren't we supposed to show them something they haven't seen; Jesus?
I used to think that maybe I was being too strict, and maybe I was being too uptight. But if i know what brings true satisfaction, and what doesn't bring me closer to God, then shouldn't i walk that way? It's a terribly lonely road at times, the way God calls us. The more i walk with Him, the more I realize, it's a beautiful and adventurous journey. But He calls us individually. Our faith needs to become our own.
I praise God for the brothers & sisters in our Christian community, that come to pray & intercede. I praise God for allowing me to fellowship with people who truly desire God, and are willing to put their time & sacrifice into it. God is truly faithful, and His promises hold true.
Whom have I in heaven but You?And earth has nothing i desire besides you.My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.Those who are far from you will perish;you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.But as for me, it is good to be near God.Psalm 73God has greatly encourage me, because He reminds me that HIS plans are coming through, and not mine. As i start my 2nd year of serving in a college fellowship, i feel so weak & unprepared. but through this i know that anything fruitful or good that comes out of this year will be because GOD did the work. He orchestrates, and i follow.
thanks God in advance for all You'll do :)
-beth
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| revive xanga!!
It's ticking down the days until i go back to school... gAhhh. so strange because everytime i go back to school, every YEAR, i somewhat dread going back... it feels like freshman year all over again. maybe it's good that i go back to school, get my brain workin' again.
summer has been so long & short at the same time. I remember grad dinner, the first day i came back. and now this sunday i'll be heading off to my 4th year of college. is it possible?? when you're younger, you think by this age you have it all "figured out", but nonono no! Man, more and more God shows you how little you know and how much you have to depend on Him. older & wiser? more like older & more dependent on God... haha i remember auntie lillian saying that too, the older you get the more you realize how little you know.
We just finished reading one of my favorite books; Ecclesiastes, which has one of my favorite verses
"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
Ecclesiastes 11:5I tend to worry about things that COULD happen, or what i expect to happen. but you know, Solomon said the secret " Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work- this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart."Ecc 5:19-20
mm, a gift to enjoy the lot God has given us, to seldom reflect on the days of my life because i'm filled with gladness of heart. that sounds like a good place to be :) so here are some things i'm glad for
- running shoes
- new IKEA rug & cups & mugs :D
- finishing the AACF tshirt design
- Gabe Bondoc's version of "Love Story"
- korean babes & 1/2 korean babes
- journaling
- home
- family
- the dock @ lake tahoe
- bay area's asian food ( which i will miss in SLO :( )
thanks Abbs, You're the best beth | | |
| ooo i want to write something...
today was HOT! like 88 degrees hot, and it was so crazy because this hot weather has been coming out of nowhere.
mm i'm liking third year a lot more, it's been good.
so SOMEHOW, i'm taking a bioengineering class ( it fulfills a GE req) and it's with all engineers. the first time i walked into the class i felt so scared because of all the testosterone in the room. it was like. walking into.. a cave.. jk, i don't know, it was just intimidating. anyways, today i looked for my female friend in the class, and she was sitting in between her male engineering friends. and there was an empty seat between her friend and another random guy. so it looked like this:
random guy my friend friend's friend random guy
so i sit in the empty seat, which ended up being kind of a BAD CHOICE. it SMELLED like somehting funk, and i knew for sure it was one of those guys. i couldn't tell what it was, but it was like, smelling someone a little too close, like their HUMAN scent. or it smelled like baby pee. i tried to put on chapstick to smell my lips, but it faded away. and i was really wishing i had some lotion to put on my upper lip so i could smell it during class, but alas, i just sat in the weird scent all 2 hours of class. anyways, after ending class late i went on a trip to: TRADER JOE'S! ta da! it was great, because i realized that it's not that expensive at all, for everything except produce and meats and cheese. so something caught my eye on the shelf and i picked it up and it read : soy chorizo. HM, interesting! so i bought it, because it was really really interesting, but i haven't eaten it yet. so i'll let you know what it takes like. God is good as always : ) and i'm getting excited about THECALL SD. pray for the election, pray for prop 8, pray for abortion, pray for America to turn her heart back to God! We talked a little bit about it during our leadership meeting, and it was awesome. one of those Spirit moments, where the fire is like burning up in you, and you can't contain it so you just gotta reLEASE the word! please VOTE and register to vote, especially on prop 8, because these things matter to God, and if we as Christians passively let such a HUGE issue slip by, then how can we stand for God in this world? we cannot be passive. bless ya'lls, have a good night sleep... :) God more knowledge, more revelation, shake up our world. amen amen bless you, beth | | |
| so the first week of school has finally ended. and the crazy school schedule has finally kicked in. i mean, look at me, i 've got class at seven in the morning, and i'm up blogging on the internet?? ahhh the freedom of college, and terrible decision making... :)
anyway, the first week of school was madness, adding classes has been so so s o so s os os. o. crazy, everyone wants a class, everyone wants to get in, but somehow, by the glory of God i've managed to add classes. praise the Lord. :)
this year i'm serving on AACF's leadership as the prayer/ interfellowship leader, and i couldn't be more excited. whenever i'm praying for double A or whenever we meet together, i can FEEL God's pleasure just pouring over us, its so great :D God is going to do amazing things, no doubt. Another exciting thing is that I've begun to see that God is placing His heart in people across campus. It's like discovering people who love the same things you do! I got to meet another brother from crusade who has a heart to revive prayer on campus, heck YES! or meeting up with old friends, and seeing how their fellowship is growing. God is on the MOVE i tell you, and there's no stopping Him.
You can pray for me actually, if you get the chance. i've been learning that when i show my weaknesses to others, Satan is conquered, because it's through the humility of confessing and asking for prayer from one another that we build community. Every time i pray, i feel God's strong call about the campus. i just FEEL it, like over me. it's a bit hard to explain, but this morning, He told me, "If you want to soar dear, you have to take leaps of faith."
leaps of faith?? i had a dream, where i was climbing down a steep pyramid, and tons of people were climbing up and down, and it was hard for me to actually see the next step down. Then i heard God say, " jump," and i say, "NO! no i will not jump!" i could actually feel the fear of falling, even just THINKING about it in my dream!
please pray for me that i'll have strength beyond my own, and the faith of even a tiny mustard seed to do what God calls me to do. it's funny that we ask Him for His will in our life, but when it comes its like, i never asked for that!!
God, you call the weak to shame the strong, and you use the foolish to shame the wise. So Lord, use us, the trembling weak and foolish to accomplish Your will. You are enough, Your grace is enough for us. Help me God to see that in stepping out of the way, You can take control, and all I have to do is go along for the ride. This crazy crazy ride. God, give me strength.
bless you all! may God ROCK your world when you let Him,
beth
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